Last Laugh

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hain
Ki zindagi teri zulfon ki narm chhaon mein guzarne pati
to shadab ho bhi sakti thi.

Sometimes a thought surfaces in my heart, that this life could have been lush had it been lived in the soft shadows of your tresses.

Yeh ranj-o-gham ki siyahi jo dil pe chhayi hai
Teri nazar ki shuaon mein kho bhi sakti thi.

That the color of despair spread across this heart could have been lost in the glint of your eyes.

Magar yeh ho na saka aur ab ye aalam hai
Ki tu nahin, tera gham teri justjoo bhi nahin.

But this could not happen and now it is such that neither do I have you nor the sorrow of your loss nor the desire to have you anymore.

Guzar rahi hai kuchh iss tarah zindagi jaise,
ise kisi ke sahare ki aarzoo bhi nahin.

This life is effluxing as though it does not seek the assistance of another.

Na koi raah, na manzil, na roshni ka suraag
Bhatak rahi hai andheron mein zindagi meri.

There is not a path or a destination or the trace of light ahead but my life has been caught in darkness.

Inhi andheron main reh jaoonga kabhi kho kar
Main janta hoon mere hum-nafas, magar yun hi
Kabhi kabhi mere dil main khayal aata hai.

That I know, it is in this darkness that I shall be lost forever my darling, yet just like that a thought surfaces in my heart.

She loved this poem. She would tell him that she fancies this poem being dedicated to her. He used to laugh at her. Laugh at her naivete for fancying to be someone’s lost love. Who would want another life to be consumed in the wake of them being gone? In a forthright stance, she would ask him, “Who would not want to be loved with that intensity?”

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Fifteen years on, as he stands in their room, caught between drawn curtains, an untouched bed and unworn clothes hanging in the cupboard, a multitude of memories come back to him. Conspicuous among which is the one of her talking of the poem. He wonders if it is a silly coincidence or an unfortunate foresight that she is having the last laugh on this one. Because all he can think of doing is to quote the words of this poem to her picture.

That I know, it is in this darkness that I shall be lost forever my darling, yet just like that a thought surfaces in my heart.