The Last Letter

Dear S

It’s been a week since I made the call. The final one to call it quits. It is a year now, since we first met. A year since you set foot in my life. From the onset, your arrival had gained an unparalleled prominence. Every corner I looked at, I could spot people talking about you. About the brilliance that is bundled up in you.

It was difficult to not notice how you had taken everyone with a stir. Maybe my haste took the better of me. I should have waited before I made the first call. Or before welcoming you in my life. Some think that I was overcome with greed. That I saw a nice bloke offering the promise of a fruitful alliance and pounced on the first opportunity to have him for myself. But it wasn’t such at all. You were new and I wanted you to feel welcome in our lives. I wanted you to feel loved. I wanted you to meet other people and extend your goodness to them as well.

I am not going to be disrespectful. So I won’t lie that I had never been disappointed during the course of our relationship. It was the discontent that consumed our bond. I felt cheated. I felt that the spectacle that you were touted as, was a fallacy. That it was window dressing after all. It was a taxing bond. I know that relationships are not a walk in the park. But I was always at a loss. You took far more than you gave.

All I wanted was for you to show some generosity. To bend your schedules for me. To fulfill your promises. To reward my commitment and loyalty. But you did none of these. It was about your decisions and choices.

It wasn’t easy. A few advised me against the separation. But I had realized what our problem was. It was what Elizabeth had told Neal, “There is a difference between loving the idea of someone and who they actually are”. I thought it was best to walk out of an illusory relationship. Thus I made the call and told you that we can be together no more.

I am not a cold heart. Of course I miss you. I miss seeing you in your spot. I miss the sparkle in my eyes every time I looked at you. I miss the excitement of being with you. But it burns me to see everyone reminding me of the parting of our ways. When people pop their faces in every commercial break to tell me that you are going to telecast the new seasons of Revenge, Homeland, Goldbergs, Blacklist and White Collar. It is so difficult to resist calling the customer care to re-activate my subscription of Star World Premiere HD. To resist from not falling prey to the notion of ‘I am watching it with America’ again. To subdue the desperation of watching these shows. I know that I don’t watch White Collar any longer but if I had the channel I may give it another try.

It is such thoughts that I battle with every day. But you and I are done. I cannot let one ninth of my monthly subscriptions go to a channel that I barely watched. Not when you spent a year telecasting Person of Interest, It’s always sunny in Philadelphia, Glee and many others that I do not watch. Goodbye.

Love Palak

P.S. I want you to know that I know Goldbergs is your petty scheme of getting back at me. I once stated in your presence my desire of watching Goldbergs next. But not one thing is going to change between us, not even if you were to air the sixth  season of The Good Wife and that says a lot.


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