For the uninitiated, Dexter here refers to Dexter Morgan from the Television Series Dexter who was a blood spatter analyst in the day and a serial killer by the night. He is known to have slaughtered many criminals who escaped the wheels of justice. In our lives, you and I both do a set of things negligently or in good humor that might arouse the Dark Passenger in our friends. Here are a few of them
Telling your friends that your parents do not approve of them, that too repeatedly.
Your parents may not be necessarily a fan of your friends. I do not think that they need to be because they do not know what your friend means to you, what has he/she done for you or the number of times they have taken your back. When you go and convey their impressions to your friend, not once or twice but over a number of times, this friend in question will be forced to question their own personality. Then they begin to suspect that the reason your parents keep on bringing this up is because you have never convinced them of the contrary. The tragedy is aggravated when the time you mention this again, coincides with one of your failures. Your friend might conclude that you and your parents are blaming them for your incompetency/hard luck and that somewhere down the line even you agree with your parents.
Do not make a spectacle of your friend’s loss.
There is something as a good time and bad time; it is always a BAD time when you rant about your friend’s failure while they have just suffered the blow and they are sitting next to you. You inform every single person you can think of, about what has happened, exclaim how sad it is and how sorry you feel for them. If you were genuinely sorry, you would put the phone down, zip your mouth and listen to what your friend has to say, help them divert their mind or simply support them silently not subject them to a re run of their loss.
Bringing a common friend in the middle of your argument.
Imagine you are facing some issues with a friend, the best solution is to talk about it not to a third person but to the friend. Nobody likes to take dollops of preaching from a person who knows one side of the tale and because of the inadequate information their suggestions are bound to tank. I have been on both sides of the table, I have been the third person and the one to receive counsel from the third person and both the times the results were gruesome.
Be kind and thoughtful for the whole world but your own close friends.
Good friends are always there for each other. While you are being a Wonder Woman to the entire world, they will watch you and hand you an energy drink when you are back while you fill them up on your stories. But sometimes, your friends expect you to run an extra mile for them as well, they might expect you to cast a proxy in class when you are absent or wait for you to show up with a packet of chips when they haven’t eaten anything or hope that you will patiently wait on that morning when they are late and greet them with a smile when they are done. Nobody likes to be ignored especially if they have stuck through thick and thin.
Console them by whining about how great your problems are.
My mother is unwell and one of her friends who visited her recently earned herself an hour of consoling from my mother. They were both talking about my mother’s loss of appetite when this woman began to discuss her son. Her son hasn’t been eating properly lately, he never listens to her, he never seeks her advice in any of his decisions, he is just too stubborn. Maybe marriage will make him a little more mature but they haven’t been able to find him a bride however their finances are on a downside as well. The conclusion being that, my mother had to spend quite some time cheering her up, thus leaving her exhausted on her friend’s departure.
If you cannot think of an appropriate conversation then it is in everybody’s interest to not start it altogether. Digressing to your own woes is the worst move that you can take. Every person at some point is emotionally/physically exhausted and thus putting them in the shoes of a shrink is downright insensitive.
Be a nagging reminder of the one person your friend hates most in this world.
How many of us like to hate people? It is nobody’s hobby to despise others without context. Lets assume I genuinely hate a person X, we have had a dirty history. My friend makes fun of my hatred of X all day and night or intentionally brings them up in the conversations or reminds me how they are good friends with X or that X is genuinely an amazing individual and maybe I can try and give up on my hatred for X. In spite of my repeated insistence to abstain from any of these activities they continue them. I am not asking her to quit her friendship with X or to not discuss X with people or vice versa. I just want her to be conscious of the fact that X must have genuinely hurt me that has led me to harbor negativity against her. I hate winters, I hate cottage cheese, I hate 50 Shades of Grey but you ignore all of these and constantly remind me of my loathe for X then it simply makes me yearn to slap you hard.