How does one make friends in life? Is there an algorithm that one should follow? Honestly I have no clue as to how did I make friends though I do know how I lost a lot of them but the origin is hazy. The basic protocol is that two people talk and then gradually strike a common ground on the basis of their mutual preferences. Since the art of small talk is a subject that leaves me quite perplexed I have never followed the aforementioned route.
Miss Google Maps and Miss Optimist are my two best friends in college. Miss Google maps and I were the thorn in each other’s eyes. We developed a shared animosity towards one another a while after we met. I have said and done quite a few things that I am not very proud of. The sole reason that ours did not turn into an ugly altercation was because her mother made her promise that she shall not pick fights with people in college. Now that I know her, I cannot be any more grateful to her mother. Four months on, we bonded over exams. She taught me Economics, we revised our syllabus together, we spent a day before our Accounts exam swooning over Dhanush’s expressions in the Kolaveri Di video and somehow we grew fond of each other. The rest of the credit goes to my mother and her exceptional food. She is a connoisseur of North Indian food, so she had to respect someone whose mother cooked well.
Miss Optimist is the only individual in this world to have shut the door on my face. If she’d be reading this post, she will frown and wonder why did I have to mention this in the very beginning. But this was how it was, I was teasing her in the morning and she took offense and Baam goes the door on my face. It did anger me at that point in time but now I know that my humor does get to her nerves at times. Miss Optimist had once mentioned that I ignored her in college once. Well I was sitting and reading a magazine in the library when she passed me by and I was extremely confused if she was the same girl who was sitting next to me during dinner the previous night. So I chose to be oblivious about her presence. Since then I have always acknowledged her presence because I know that she finds it irksome when people are negligent. From the pleasantries we advanced to conversations, very often peppered with my wry humor but fortunately our conversations haven’t ceased since then.
I think it is time that Miss Benchmate gets mentioned on this blog. Miss Benchmate has been a friend for ten years now however our relationship had never extended beyond an exchange of a friendly glance in class. After a sour turn of events in class twelfth both of us had no one but each other to sit with. So we did and thus originated an equation which complemented both us. She was extremely quiet so I took the initiative to make her speak, make her laugh and make her enjoy life. What she gave me was an unconditional support in all that I did and an unconditional ear to all that I said. She is one of the few faces from past who still delight me maybe because our relationship had always been about our own needs. When we talk it is about our own lives, when we laugh it is about a joke that one of us has pulled on the other and we understand each other.
There are many faces that qualify for friends. Some made over a series of bad jokes, some over an affection for fiction, another over an exercise to make poems rhyme, some over alike career choices and the dilemmas that accompany. I do not know who planted the seed for companionship but each one is priceless in its own respect.
To each ally that I have lost, I am aware that it was my own folly. At the inception of every relationship, I would make these little adjustments to suit the choices of the other so that they do not feel uncomfortable. The plan was to let them stretch and relax in the glory of our alliance and subsequently would come my turn to enjoy the same comforts. However when I slipped back into my skin and hoped for reciprocation, they felt that I had changed. And thus countless of alliances came to cease likewise. They were destined to, because one cannot extend pretense beyond a limit.
All I have left to say to the ones who have stayed and to the ones who have been lost, ‘Cheers and Thank You!’