I am a solitary learner, I prefer learning things on my own. Two years ago, I got stuck with a problem in class and a friend wanted to help which I politely declined. Later she remarked, that I am one of those who like to rub off on others that they are too mighty to take help. Well, I don’t think I am mighty or smart either, in fact, after a year or so I have these long phases of self doubt but anyhow I like to fight my battles on my own. I require someone to give me a good fundamental base and I work my way ahead.
I still remember my first day to school, a teacher taught us alphabet and wanted us to reproduce the same as homework. I went back home, had lunch and finished my homework without even bothering my mother. I was fond of learning since I was a child and the thrill of it lied in the fact that I will I have to work through a problem myself not being led on to the solution. Solo processing is fed into my system. I sit in the class and simply listen to what is being taught. I go back home, switch on the television and study alongside; try to grasp what was taught to me earlier in the day. That’s it, I need my own working space and (preferably) television or music or a movie running in the background. I think the slight drop in my grades in college is because I do not have uninhibited access to television like earlier. I am a television addict, I can watch anything and I have never studied without television. Fortunately, my parents never minded because I might have given up on studying without television. I often jokingly remark that if one leaves me alone in a room and a television, I might even land a Doctorate.
I think my brain is not assembled to work in a crowd. Put me in a library and I will be so distracted, trying to observe my surroundings, fascinated at the smallest of things. That happens in the class as well, if I am bored I am always looking out of the window, or staring at a pretty handbag or analyzing someone’s expressions. If I solve the question early, I turn my attention to something else to keep my mind engaged. My friends recently suggested that we should study together ensuring that there shall be nothing but a lull surrounding us. I told them that I trust you guys but I don’t trust my own mouth, I will go on blabbering which will not only be detrimental to me but for them as well. I need my own peace to focus.