Petty Concerns, Clouded Judgment, Not So Proud Memories

Daily Prompt: Exhale.

Tell us about a time when everything seemed to be going wrong — and then, suddenly, you knew it would be alright.

May 23rd, 2011 is one day I rarely like to be reminded of. It was the day when CBSE twelfth board results were declared and my result was not in line with my expectations. What I wanted was a 97%, what I scored was a 95.6% which was apparently the highest score in the city. But my world sadly came down crashing in front of my two eyes. Why wasn’t I satisfied? Maybe because I wanted more marks. Maybe because I had done everything correctly in my Maths exam and still I got a 99 not a 100. Maybe because I wanted to study in Shri Ram college of Commerce and their high cut offs are one legend. Maybe because my studies were one aspect where my life had never disappointed me. I sat down in a corner and weeped endlessly while my baffled parents had no clue about what could possibly appease the agony.

Some two weeks later, the Delhi University cut offs came out. While going through the prospectus, I had overlooked an important detail. That is the qualifying marks consist of marks in English and three other subjects, however I thought that they consisted of any of the four highest scoring subjects. Thus as per my flawed calculation I had got into SRCC. A friend who had gone to Delhi for admissions called me up the next morning to correct my misconception. That was the second morning in my home when all hell broke loose because I was one mark short of SRCC’s cut off. I switched on the television to divert my mind off admissions and all I could see was news channels criticizing the skyrocketing cut offs of the University, anticipating that SRCC may not come up with a second cut off list because they have admitted more than double the number of seats available and lamenting the widening gulf between the number of students who get  into the State funded Universities and the ones who don’t .
It was advised that you should secure a seat in a college that you qualify for in the first list because you may qualify for a better college in a subsequent list  and thus you can switch then. On the six hour drive, I cried for most part. The uncontrollable urge to throw objects or break them persistently looming in the back of my mind. After a long scrutiny of college after college, I got admission in Hansraj College. Over the next few days, I channelized my rage in boxing over Kinect and my brother occupied himself with poking fun at me by reminding me about a Punjabi singer by the name of Hansraj. Subsequently, the second cut off list came out and got through Lady Shri Ram College, the second preference on my list like any other commerce student.

Two years down the line, I wonder how different my life would have been had I got into SRCC or scored an extra five-ten marks. I am not very fond of my college, sometimes getting myself out of the bed is an uphill task but what is to say I would have loved the other college. Still, I am content with what I have on my hands because I don’t need the best college in this country to become what I am etched out to become. And yes, had it not been for this college, I would have never met Miss Google Maps and Miss Optimist, two of the most wonderful people I know in this world. If I could turn back time, I would behave a little more sanely on those fateful days. At least, save myself from the mockery that my family subjects me to, once they reminisce the gimmicks I had pulled on these days.

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Author: Palak

A young woman who is busy carving a small niche for herself in this huge world. People intrigue me and had it not been for a career charted out in finance I could have made one helluva psychologist. I am fond of reading fiction and equally fond of holding on to a story for a while so as to analyze the way it shaped up. Television, movies and slow music are some of my other interests. I am an obsessive thinker and observer and being an absolute coffee addict and semi-somniac leaves me with ample of time to be one. This blog is an attempt to take note of some of the thoughts that cross my mind and a few of my experiences.

8 thoughts on “Petty Concerns, Clouded Judgment, Not So Proud Memories”

  1. This post was good to the extent that it reminds all of us that what we wish for is not necessarily the best thing that can happen to our lives. Sometimes learning to enjoy what we have is much more important in the long run, isn’t it.

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