Write a story about yourself from the perspective of an object, thing, animal, or another person.
In the wee hours as I wander in the twisted world of my dreams, my gadgets have all assembled for a clandestine meeting to address concrete matters. Mr Television, being the oldest in the family takes a head count and then gestures Ms. Notebook to begin with her grievances.
Extremely exhausted in the light of being over exploited on the previous night, she articulates in a solemn tone, “Enough is enough, I cannot endure this brutality from this point on. Every time she postpones an activity to complete it a night before the deadline, I am the one who has to sacrifice my sleep for her indiscretions. And as the ticking clock mounts more pressure on her head, she inflicts pain on my components as if the act of sadism is going to accelerate the pace of her work. I have not had a good night’s sleep for a week now, last Tuesday she could not resist the intrigues of the Book thief and the next night she wanted to catch up on all the television shows that she has missed. Over the weekend, the Suits bug had hit her and she saw the entire series again because it was too hard for her to accept that the mid season finale is round the corner and just when I could see those eyes straining, her brother called her on Skype. Now I am so tired that I feel like dismantling myself, the processor moans as she opens another window, the keys tremble on her touch and the battery well if she doesn’t switch me off soon, we might have to put it on a ventilator.”
Mr Television, caresses her back and makes her sit down while extending a glass of GlucoGadget to make up for the lost vitality. As she gulps the contents down her throat, he says, “Well I know she can be hard on her gadgets, but then you should know that she tries to make up for my absence with your help. Sadly, this time she has crossed the line by depriving you of rest for a week; certainly this calls for some action. Now, Mr Cellphone what problems have you faced in the recent past?”
In a tone that can remind one of the Howler from Harry Potter, Mr Phone burst out, “I wonder where to begin with. Ah, yes I still don’t have a screen guard and her tendency to put me in life threatening situations has only seen a rise in the two years.”
Mr Corby, my previous phone who still remains an honorary member of the board, mockingly interjects, “Like I always say, she must really hate you to do that.”
Mr Phone cross with him replies, “I never told her to buy me and now that she did, at least she can render me some respect. I am 18 months old but my body resembles that of a ten year old, the polish wearing off from every corner, the display full of scratches and my grey cells fragile. God, what kind of nonsensical applications she has downloaded and ”
Mr Television stops him in the middle and says, “Do you have a recent tiff or matter of concern that you would like us to ponder upon because we have been listening to this tattle of yours since the winter of 2012. The screen guard is out of question as she is already in talks for a replacement.”
At this very point Mr Phone breaks into tears, a concerned Mrs PSP extends a tissue to him while Mr Corby coldly says, “Oh please, stop making a scene now, what good can a phone with an incompetent processor and 256 megabytes of RAM do to her? I have time and again told you that she is extremely finicky with phones, I was replaced within six months and still I took it in my stride and chose to be on this Board.”
Mr Television looks at Mrs PSP indicating for her to speak. Mrs PSP adjusts her spectacles and begins, “Oh I have no grudges against her, as you know I was the first gift from her brother and since then she has treasured me like a precious jewel. Only if we could jot down a clause prescribing minimum usage hours in a month, it would be nice to feel her fingers fondling with the buttons again; I have even knit new display themes for her.”
Mr. Camera raises his arm and says, “I would like to bring attention of this Board towards the unethical conduct of a member” and then shifts his gaze towards Mr Phone. “Last month, in view of his discontent with Ms Palak, he muted his microphone to teach her a lesson. She was literally tortured by this misconduct of his, impairing her to speak to anyone on the phone.”
Mr Television paces towards Mr Phone, scolds his ears and states, “How dare you indulge in such a heinous act without seeking assent from any of us?” Giving his ears a nice twist, he continues, “You must have thought these oldies will never come to know about this, so why not transgress the limits and have some fun. You are liable for a fine of 1000 gadget dollars and six months of gadget community service.”
Mr Phone was left sobbing on the floor, pleading for Mr Television to reconsider on the floor.
“So far, all we have is putting up a limit on the number of usage hours.”, asks Mr Television.
Ms Laptop slightly rejuvenated by now, says,”Oh, another point is, that whenever she faces an internet connectivity problem, she mentally flirts with images of throwing me against the wall or banging me on the floor. Since it is highly discomforting for me, I would like…”
And right then, I shoot up my laptop to resume the presentation I was making before I succumbed to sleep, thus putting an abrupt halt to the meeting. And as you can understand there cannot be a foreseeable end to the turmoil of my gadgets.